Confession:

Do you ever feel like you are a broken record before the Lord especially when it comes to confessing sin? I know I do. So many times even in the same day I go before Him ashamed of my failure once again to live for Him. I feel like I keep doing all the things that I don't want to do and nothing of what I want to do. Over the last few weeks I have been discouraged as I continue to "fail". Then today I was reminded: God has not only forgiven me and allows me to live a victorious life free from guilt, but He has chosen to remove my sins as far as the east is from the west!! Thus each time I am coming before God with my repetitive sin it is not so in His sight. He is not saying how many times are you going to disappoint me and when will you get over this?...Instead He continues to beckon me to sit before His throne, call on His name and dwell in His house...What an amazing God I serve!

Vacation Pictures:


Eating beef jerky


John in a hammock on the boat


The Island of Lopud

(This is NOT the Boat, but I just

wanted a picture of a boat with this post)

I'm leaving on a "jet" boat to Dubrovnik
It will take 22 hrs to get there!
I am hoping it will be warm and sunny
So I will be able work on my tan, but
If it is raining...
I will have to go outside and sing in it.
I am just excited to go on a vacation
Especially because I have heard so much about our destination.

Language

Thus far this year learning the language has been a slow process, partly because I am not that diligent about studying, but the other day I was so excited because I actually

understood something a Croatian said:

So I was standing near a road and a father with his son walked by as they were about to cross the street the little boy looked to the left and said "lijevo" and to the right and said "desno." Then he walked confidently across the street...I was laughing inside as he was so cute and then I realized I know what he said!! I was so proud of myself, I could understand a five year old!
Well it's a start...

Port of Sub Days

The air is crisp, the sun shining, beaming down warmth as a cool breeze ruffles the leaves on the trees...Breathing deeply every thing is so refreshing and the day is beautiful! A few white puffy clouds pass across the blue sky...It is a perfect day to go to the park, play soccer (nogomet) or to just lay on the grass with a blanket and book to read...These days are precious and few...Personally I call them my "Port of Sub" days because they are the days I would go get a sandwich from port of sub and go to the park to enjoy God's creation...

The Picture:

She was confident of her beauty, radiant with light
Assured of her radiance she danced in delight,
Her fears of rejection dissipated, the lies in her mind quieted down.
Her eyes shimmered in the night, freed from the sorrow of pity, embarrassment and shame...Joy filled her heart, life was running through her veins, but then came the picture and all would change...

Oh why did she look at the picture? Knowing what would be in store, tears filled the eyes once dancing and shame stole the dance floor...Her heart of joy turned to grief and pain as she realized who was to blame, she was the reason for the suffering, the shame...She consumed with vengance the food instead of pursuing the Word...paralyzed she was now now weeping out of guilt...

Then questions flood to her mind why did others say she was pretty...why did they lie directly to her face? They were not truthful, how could she be anything but ugly?! Hate forms within her soul, expression so deep words cannot express the anguish and depression laden on her chest. Why can't she see what other's see, the beauty from within? Yet no words of affirmation could make her listen to them...The proof is right there just look at the picture, they lied when they said she looked cute...Tantalizing thoughts abound, dissatisfaction all around...The hearts deceit has been unleashed, she is falling to the ground...In desperation calling "Lord help me please" she awaits his voice...

"Beloved the picture is nothing, what I want is your heart...I want you to see the beauty only I can impart. Come to me and listen, find your peace in me, see the wonder of who you are and see you are set free! No longer are you bound to sin rather you are bound to me...Know you are forgiven and there is no condemnation for thee. I have loved you unconditionally and through my Son's blood you belong to me...You are beautiful my daughter I love you as you are, broken and dying I will change you from within...Lift up your eyes towards heaven look deeply in my face and see the love I give you through my intimate grace..."

She sat in silence wondering why the struggle still remained, but then she looked upward and glorified God's name...She worshiped her Father, she knelt before his throne, for God loved her and He called her His own.

This was taken down by the port, I love how the clouds are reflecting in the water!



This picture is looking down from the "castle" as the sun is setting, isn't it beautiful?!

Victory

So much of my life seems to be caught in a tug-a-war between who I am now and who I want to become. I am at battle with my sinful nature. It seems to take hold of me so much of the time and I struggle living this so called "victorious Christian life." So what does that really look like? Are we able to live a life completely victorious, free from the stress and strain of our sin and the world around us... Is that what it truthfully means to have victory in Christ?

The word victory, according to the dictionary states victory is the "Defeat of an enemy or opponent or success in a struggle against difficulties." As I read this definition I was trying to picture what defeat would be over an enemy...Being as I am not really into anything about war very few vivid pictures come to mind. The first to pop into my brain was from the movie independence day, don't' ask me why, because I don't even understand it. Anyway the aliens were trying to annihilate (defeat) planet earth. Yet the reverse happened and their plan was thwarted by the hero...But the picture is that it was a fierce battle, lives were lost, then there was total victory at the end and the aliens were destroyed...

Similarly Satan is trying to defeat the plans of God. However, Satan has already been defeated because of Christ's death and resurrection! Praise the Lord that the war for all of eternity has already been won. I am simply battling the war here on earth as I await my coming King to pronounce His Victory!

On earth my battle is against the attacks of the evil one and the powers of darkness. And at the same time my own flesh, which is opposed to God as it seeks after it desires and wishes apart from God. The sin-nature is raging war against my soul because God has claimed me as His. Daily I am faced with this battle, but there is joy in it because as a Christian I have victory over my enemy, the devil, through the power of Christ. His blood has set me free! (Romans 8 and 1 Corinthians 15:51-58).

Yes I will struggle I am human and I fail, but God who is compassionate, merciful and gracious will lift me up as I humble myself before Him and fall before His throne. Praise be to our Lord because He has given us victory through the blood of Christ!

Decision:
Over the last few months I have been thinking and praying about what to do this coming year. It has been a challenge, but rewarding as I have sought after God's guidance. So in short I have decided to apply to join Staff with Campus Crusade in January. I just finished my application and I will be mailing it in soon! I would ask for prayer as my application is processed. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and support!