Today I was looking through my journals from briefing in CO last summer...I am always amazed by God whenever I read my journals because I realize how faithful he is to me and at times how much he reveals to my heart before I proceed to a new place...Not that I know what it will be like, but rather He gives assurance He will be there with me even if it is going to be difficult...
One thing that hit me though was a sadness as well as a feeling of loss and some of regret...Not for what God has done, but over what I have not done...Granted as people we are not perfect so failure is inevitable...but as I look at my pages of writing, most of it prayers or bible verses that spoke to me at the time, I also see promptings from God; unfortunately many I did not follow through with...
Lord I confess to you all the times I walked in disobedience, all the times I was unfaithful to your calling, all the risks I didn't take...
Oh Lord, thank you for you unfailing love: a love that is outside of conditions and humanity, a love that is pure, kind, full of life and hope and redemption!
Father purify my heart within, sanctify me, place in my soul a longing to do your will alone, you alone are able, for out of my humanity I am nothing and I can do nothing to overcome...Come in my heart drill out the dark decay of my old self, make a new a heart bright red vibrantly overflowing with springs of life!