I sound so much better in my head...Do you ever have times when you have thought about what to say and then when it comes time to say it, you mess it up and sound like a babbling broke flowing in zigzags all over a mountain side?
For instance when I call someone I know what I want to say when they answer, but instead I get a machine...Suddenly my mind goes blank and I come out stumbling over my words, laughing like a school girl and feeling ridiculous; which is why I opt to hang up before the 'beep" erases all of my thoughts.
Or when I am in a group where eventually I have to answer a question...as people share answers I am thinking about my own, feeling good about what I will say, but then all the eyes fall on me. Who knew eyes were capable of such great power as to instantaneously freeze all brain productivity; rather than producing an eloquent speech, parts of words and sentences come out usually ending with a sheepish giggle and a hot face as my voice trails off into nothingness.
However those compare nothing to just not being able to express to people in general what I really want to say, I tend to have words of wisdom in my head that get easily overshadowed by fear either of rejection or what people are thinking about me. It is in those moments my mind is muddled, dazed and confused into mush leaving a blank stare and awkward silence. Suffice to say I sometimes wish the words in my head could come out on paper so I could read them, but God did not install that feature when he created me. So alas I am hard pressed to continue on through the trials of communication in any situation, until an invention is made with the capability to curb any chance of humiliation, but at the same time it is fun to laugh at myself and I would miss that as well as everyone else who laughs with me as I endeavor to speak my mind.
